After 32 years of living, you would think I could recognize it by now, but I still struggle to see it when it’s happening.
The invitation to pivot, to change directions and seek out a new path, is often born out of a sense of crisis. What feels like an ending is really a new beginning; one I’d see clear enough if only I’d trust the process.
Over the last month, I have sensed the Lord wanted to do something new in my life. I struggled against it, unsure how I could possibly make the room for “new”. I wondered if, perhaps, God meant for me to lay down writing to make the space. The mere thought of doing so was distressing. (I have a persistent fear that God wants to take away the things that I love, but that is another blog post for another day!)
Facing The Truth
This feeling emerged, when I was confronted by two alarming truths:
1. I am investing more in the “readers behind the screen” than the individuals right in front of me. While I am striving to show up for you daily on social media and this blog (and it is a deep joy to do so!) I am struggling to show up for my community, my church family, and my friends.
2. My writing has outrun me, taking me to depths I have not yet walked, threatening my ability to write with authenticity. Henry David Thoreau writes, “How vain it is to sit to write before you have stood to live.” and this, friend, is exactly what I have done.
When I finally acknowledged these two truths, I was devastated. If I wasn’t living a meaningful life then how could I possibly write meaningful words? And what was the point of writing at all, if it wasn’t going to be meaningful and authentic? Honestly, I almost quit writing then and there.
The pressure to quit mounted as God birthed a new vision in my heart, a glimpse of what an intentional, “home-focused” summer could look like for me and my family. Words like: hospitality, discipleship, and community service began to flood my heart. I longed to unplug from social media, step off the hamster wheel of my content calendar, and simply enjoy life with my kids and my husband for a few months. Surely, I thought, to do all this, I’d have to give up writing.
But just when I was on the brink of throwing in the towel, God sent some wise council my way. Through a series of long conversations, He showed me that rather than quitting, I could use this as an opportunity, to be honest with you and invite you on my journey this summer. To tie a bow on it, He even showed me how this pivot fits beautifully within our current cultivate series.
This summer, I want to invite you to join me as I venture to “Cultivate Home”.
I’m still figuring out exactly what this means, but I’ll be sure to keep you in the loop as I do. I do know I won’t be sending out a Faithful Heart’s Devotional Study in June, July, or August. Don’t worry, we will pick them back up in September! I also will not be blogging.
In lieu of all this, I’d love to connect with you more directly by sending out a weekly email. My hope through these emails is that we might develop more of a conversation between us. As I share what the Lord is doing in my life as I learn to “cultivate home”, I’d love to hear what He is doing in yours. If you don’t already receive my emails, you can sign up for those through the form below. If you’d rather follow my summer fun via Instagram, I’ll continue to regularly post there, too.
Thank you for hanging with me as I navigate how to write meaningful words while living a meaningful life! It is my absolute joy to serve and encourage you.
Mary Kathryn Tiller
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