I woke up on New Year’s Day, 2018, exhausted. Despite having slept through the night (a true gift with a teething infant), I wasn’t ready to get out of bed and face the new year. As I laid on my side and looked out the brightening window, I took stock of my anxiety. It didn’t take long to pinpoint the issue: I was entering 2018 with my usual packed schedule, but my heart was no longer up to the hustle.
Captivated by the culture of the modern day “Boss Lady”, I spent my twenties aspiring to be a woman who was in control of her life and achieving big dreams. I began collecting identity hats: daughter, friend, wife, mother, founder, writer, ministry leader, professor. And under each of those hats, like tiny Russian nesting dolls, were even more hats. Even now, as a stay-at-home-mom, I have managed to fill every waking moment with activities and volunteer obligations. Ironically, I have become a workaholic without even having a job.
I have come to realize that at the heart of this superwoman culture is two deeply flawed beliefs: you have to do everything to be worth anything, and you can do it all, all by yourself. Believing the first lie robbed me of my peace, and believing the second lie robbed me of my community. Together, they robbed me of my joy.
Over the month of January, I spent a lot of time processing this realization, and praying for the Lord to show me a different way to live. During that time, I decided to honor the commitments I had made, one was leading a bible study on the Gospel of John at my local food bank. While there, I met Mrs. Willamina James.
Read more about the impact Mrs. James had on me and the woman I resolved to become at Morning By Morning.